I wish this were only a metaphor for my second year in the Philippines, but unfortunately it serves as both an excellent metaphor and reality.
I arrived in the Philippines and I think I had the idea that it would be easier, that I would be able to simply swing back into things and the daily routine here in the tropics... but it has proven to be more of a challenge.
Coming home to a big empty house for one thing was very hard. My room mate Kelli had not arrived yet in the Philippines and so I was left to take care of three rambunctious and attention deprived dogs. After leaving a full Cosper house in the States it was a little strange to be all by myself.
I was also greeted by a car that needed a set of new wheels. I don't mean they were getting a little worn out...I mean you could literally see the wire coming through. I was getting seriously worried every time I had to drive out somewhere. Not only were the tires worn out but it had a serious odor problem...yuck. I was on my way to work one morning and I decided i had plenty of time to stop for Starbucks, as I was backing out of the parking lot I hit a pot hole and my coffee (which had yet to be even tasted and was sitting in my unreliable cup holder) went flying across my passenger seat. you're kidding me. I got out and tried to clean it up as much as I could, but as I'm beginning to run late for work and people are waiting for me I had to get going. "Great", I think, "I have a latte lying on my floor....that's going to smell awesome." so now I have this stinky car that has tires that are about to give out.
Finally after a week of trying to get a hold of my mechanic he comes and rescues my tires! Thank goodness for people who know how to fix cars! I wish I was gifted with such talent! Unfortunately there was nothing he could do for the smell, he said he would have had to take out all the carpet and redo it... I told him it wasn't worth it and I'd just try to clean it up myself.
I've always heard that the first year of teaching is the worst...but what about the second? I guess now that I think about it, it's not going to be magically 100% better. Last year I was blessed with a class that loved each other, loved to learn, and were so eager to please. This year...not so much. I love these kids, and they are sweet kids. But I do have 11 more kids than I did last year, and this group of kids aren't as excited about school. I have to be honest in that it hasn't been easy. Last year I was seen as a fun teacher, this year not so much. I have to be strict and punish kids, and I hate that! I'm praying that the Lord gives me some serious patience and that I would be able to show these kids the love of Christ...even if that's through giving out consequences.
So I'm headed out to work this morning, mentally kind of preparing myself for the day ahead of me. I'm following this car in front of me when out on no where it swerves and I hit the biggest pot hole I have ever seen...followed by the sound of scratching metal. "shoot"...I decide that school is only 15 more minutes away and in this case ignorance is bliss and I'd try to make it to school. I know it wasn't the smartest decision on my part, but come on, how bad would that be if a blonde girl were stranded on the side of the road looking quite out of her element! Made it to school ok and found that my brand new tire had a hole in it the size of silver dollar.
WHERE DO THESE POT HOLES COME FROM!!!
yikes... well long story short got it fixed and I'm able to drive around again, though I drive significantly slower and am watching the ground more often than I ever have before.
So now I'm trying to think about what God is trying to teach me through this...and I'm still not sure.
Please pray for me this year, as I have a challenging class and have a lot more kids than I did last year. I am also now teaching computers to my 4th graders, and I feel completely inadequate to be teaching this. I am struggling with feeling insufficient and being overwhelmed. I find myself leaning on God more and more every day, and maybe that's exactly where I should be in the first place.
But please God, no more pot holes.
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