Sacrifices don't only happen overseas.

I've been thinking over the last couple days on how to write this post, but recently I have felt convicted to write about my experiences going through "re-entry". This note will probably be honest and raw but I want to be able to explain a little of what it feels like to re-enter ones "home" after an extended amount of time overseas.  This is surprisingly my second time to re-enter my home country and I've read and posted articles by others, but this is my personal journey.

When moving overseas I was congratulated and blessed for following God's calling overseas.  I was greeted with statements like "Wow, may God bless your work!" and "We'll be praying for you and your ministry!" I was taught to expect the sacrifices that will follow, I knew that life would be different and challenging, but those new challenges were welcomed and expected!  I was grateful for the adventure that God was taking me on, and eventually, I was amazed at the heart that I had developed for this foreign country and people.

During my times overseas I may have complained about the challenges that come with living in a foreign country, and I may have counted down the days till my next visit home.  But I loved this adventure that God was taking me on.  I felt blessed receiving so many encouraging emails from around the world telling me they loved reading about my journey and were praying for me.

I always knew I sacrificed my life of comfort in the states for this uncomfortable challenging life overseas.  At times I missed my family and friends so much, but then God brought some of the best friends I have ever had into my life.  We shared experiences together that most people wouldn't believe, they missed their own families, they explored new places with me, they loved this crazy foreign world just as I did, they became my family.  I also saw God work in some miraculous ways, I saw and felt God using me, and what an amazing fulfilling feeling that is!

But then something happens or time passes, and I'm not sure why or how, but God calls us to move on, and sometimes that means moving back to our "homes", and no matter how prepared you think you are you can't anticipate the heartbreak that will follow leaving this place where you have grown so much.  While I was living overseas my walk and relationship with Christ grew immensely.  I had to learn to depend on him even when I felt like everything was changing and was different from what I was used to.   But now I'm being called back to my "home" the place where my family lives, and where I'm supposed to feel completely comfortable and it's supposed to be easy.  So why isn't it easy?  Why do I feel heartbroken? Why do I feel out of place?

I'm following God's guidance, but sometimes it feels easier to follow him overseas than it does here in the USA.  I am no longer greeted with the same greetings (and that's ok) but am greeted with huge daunting questions like "What's next?" and "How was your time overseas?"...and I'm not sure what to say.  "It changed my life?"..."Do you have a couple of hours and a box of tissues?"..."I have no idea what's next, yet."

Surprisingly enough, I also miss those frustrations of living overseas.  Those uncomfortable challenges that God put in front of me.  I miss the problem solving, and laughing with friends about the silliness of different cultures and our interactions with them.  I miss feeling like God is directly using me, I know it's only been a few months, but I also think the anxiety of "will I ever feel like that again?" hits you pretty bad.  I also miss the body of Christ.  Here in the states we aren't as dependent on the body of Christ, we have our families, technology, AAA, government and so much more to fall back on.  Many times overseas it was simply people who I work with and minister with that helped me out, comforted me, mentored me, and lived life with me.  We depended on each other for so much. Little did I know that when I moved back to the states that I would be asked to sacrifice so much as well.

My intentions of writing this blog isn't to ask for pity, or even to sympathize for me.  I know that God has big plans for me...even if I don't know what they are yet.  But my point is to explain a little of the thoughts and feeling that come with moving back home.  I don't feel like this is home necessarily... I feel like I left home for another home.  I am different and therefore the US is different, I have to find where I fit in again, where I can serve again, who are my friends are, who I can call on a friday night to hang out, and how can even my family relate to me.  I'm not giving up hope that I will never again go back overseas, but for now I sacrificed my life overseas to follow Christ, and to me right now, this seems more terrifying.

There will be plenty of tears, laughter, anxiety, and joy...but this is after-all an adventure.

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

-Romans 8:28 (The Message)  

    

Merry Christmas from Kenya!

Merry Christmas from First Love Kenya!

Some of our kids worked to retell the story of the Nativity.  Pretty cute if I do say so myself.

A honest note about the worst part of missions.

After living in many different places, meeting hundreds of amazing people, forming great friendships, and then saying hundreds of good byes I have come to the conclusion that good byes are THE WORST.  And the worst part is that with every good-bye it seems to only get worse.  Each good bye is a reminder of my past good byes.

Today I said good bye to over 60 of our kids at the First Love children's home and it sucked.  Some of you may be wondering why I'm already saying good bye when I'm not actually leaving till next week, but because of Kenyan law all orphans are supposed to have some legal guardian that claims them as family. The families may not be able to take care of them year round, but they are supposed to take the kids at Christmas time, so that each child remembers and understands where their family heritage comes from.

Anyway, I always knew that I wasn't here for long term, and knew that I would eventually be leaving and saying good bye to these kiddos. But I guess I just just try and fool myself that the good byes will just get easier... when in fact its just the opposite.  It also doesn't help that I'm probably still grieving leaving my last home and some very dear friends that I had to leave behind.

My passion is seeing God's work being done around the world.  I love seeing his children working for the greater good.  But why is it that my passion, that God has given me, has also created the biggest heartbreak in my life.

The last three months have been so many things, exciting, adventurous, exhausting, frustrating, and so so great!  But I have had to say some of the hardest good byes, and it is only through the power of God that I am able to say good bye one more time this next week.  I know it won't be my last, but this is what's in front of me now.  Plus I still have 25 other little orphans who need me this week.

If you think of it this week, please say a little prayer for me.

So much love for these kids.

Boy's Dorm

The boy's dorm is especially busy with new kids coming and claiming their rooms.  I'm so glad I was able to finish these paintings before their arrival!

Philippians 3:14

This is my prayer for these boys, that even in the tough times they will press on towards Christ!

A Thanksgiving to remember.

*side note, I thought I would have way more time to blog about the happenings of living in a children's home but alone time comes very infrequently and I'd like to apologize.  

The last few days I started to feel a little sorry for myself...which is pathetic.  This time last year I was eating street food Pad Thai in Thailand and looking forward to finally spending thanksgiving with my family the following year.  However through a turn of events and God leading me this way and that way here I am in Kenya and I am the ONLY American in sight.

I started feeling sorry for myself that I wouldn't be eating anything special, in fact I'd be eating the same Kenyan food I've been eating every day for three months, and that the last time I was with my family on this holiday, was when I was 17 years old! It's easy to get down on yourself but then God has an amazing way of reminding us of Truth.

This morning I woke and took a little extra time in getting ready, making myself look extra nice for a day that was simply another thursday in Kenya.  But after I spent the morning reading with several children and then wrapping all of their christmas gifts, I was alarmed to hear wailing coming from outside the home.  I rushed outside to see what the trouble was but ran into our director and 4 new little kids (for their sake I'm keeping their names private).  They had just arrived at the home and were getting out of the car when this little girl (about 4 years old) came rushing out and began running to the gate and screaming at the top of her lungs.  I immediately went to go and investigate.

There were two young boys who were obviously quite traumatized by the screaming and wailing.  One little boy was quite good at english and was able to communicate with me.  He was so sweet and introduced himself to me, and told me the names of the other kids.  I told him I was so glad he joined us and excited for him to meet all the other little boys.

The other little boy was virtually silent and did not understand any english or swahili, making it nearly impossible for us to communicate with him without using some kind of charades.

The two little girls were sisters and while one was already at the gate screaming and wailing the other stood back and was fighting back the tears.  I walked to her and rubbed her back and gave her a big smile telling her I was so happy to meet her. I told her my name and asked some questions about her, but again it was obvious that she did not understand english or swahili.  These two little girls were only about 4 and 5 years old but going through one the hardest challenges no child should ever have to go through.

After taking the kids to be introduced to the other children, our director later told us that the oldest boy (who spoke english) was the product of a rape.  His mother was raped at a young age and was so poor that she wasn't able to take care of him any longer.  Seeing such a confident happy boy coming from such a violent act is amazing and unimaginable in my mind.  But then again, God is bigger than sin.

The younger boy comes from an extremely poor family, the reason why he only knows his mother tongue and not Swahili or english.  He came to us because his aunt could no longer take care of him.  His father a few years ago murdered his mother and then committed suicide in front of him.  How can a child go on after seeing such acts of sin?  How does this kid have even a chance at a normal life? But then again, God is bigger than sin.

The two little girls' mother is a teenager.  Imagine a teenager having a 4 and 5 year old, not to mention we didn't even take their younger brother.  The mother is an orphan herself and was living with her aunt who had 6 of her own kids.  The mother and her 3 children were unfortunately a burden and they could not support all the kids.  So the mother decided to send her first two away so she could focus on finishing high school.  Can you imagine?  When I asked our director what was her reaction when he took the screaming little girls away from their mother he said she was more relieved than anything.  How can a teenager have three kids?  How are these little girls supposed to go on after being abandoned by their beloved mother?  But then again, God is bigger than sin.

My job now is to simply poor the love out on these kiddos.  All that I had been worried about earlier that day about spending this day with my family and eating turkey seems so pointless. God has blessed me with this opportunity to share my love and more importantly Christ's love with these kids.  I am brought to tears at the thankfulness I feel today.  These kids deserve so much more, but I will love them with all that Christ has given me.

At our evening devotion tonight I shared 2 Corinthians 4:15-16 which says:

 "All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.  Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." 

I am not here in Kenya because of the money, the traveling, or even the experience.  I am here because I truly believe that by loving these kids God is glorified.  I told the kids that my prayer is that by God using me and the rest of our First Love staff that they would be overflowing with thanksgiving.  That not only I, but they would give all the glory to God, and even in those days when I'm tired and sick, my soul would be renewed daily and God would give me the strength to carry on.  

This is what I thought about today, as I had five little girls holding onto my hands arms, shirt, legs, this is the Truth that God has reminded me of today.  This is the Thanksgiving I will never forget. 

Girl's Dorm Transformation!

One thing that all the kids asked for was decoration in their dorms. They have these giant bare walls and because there are nearly 70 rowdy kids living at the home, frames and pricey art seemed like it was out of the question.  So I ventured onto a new adventure and decided to paint murals on the walls myself.  It's taken me a few weeks, trying to avoid painting while the kids are home.  But I've pretty much finished the girls dorm and am on to the boys.  Just wanted to show a little update of what I've been doing in my spare time.  The girls are absolutely in love with their new artwork!  

Quinter with their requested bunny friend.

Birds in the sky

They specifically requested a bunny

This was my first painting, the easy birch tree

Kendi and Grace showing off their tree and swing

Obviously they chose a nature theme, I hope to come back and add some more native Kenyan animals.

The Waterproof Nation Needs Your Help!

My heart remains in the Philippines and it breaks to see the suffering and devastation right now in my southeast home.  As my newsfeed and inbox fill with emails pleading for prayers and families searching to hear from their loved ones I am convicted to write this update in hopes that it will touch someone else's heart and give them an opportunity to help!  My good friend sent me this update just on Sunday morning from Manila:

Filipinos sometimes call themselves the Waterproof Nation. Typhoons are not uncommon but this one most definitely is. On record as the most extreme storm of its kind ever, Typhoon Yolanda has dramatically impacted the most vulnerable of this country - the fishermen with shack homes on the beach, the women and children taking refuge in evacuation centers that turned out to be inadequate, those too poor to stock up on necessities of food and drinking water before the storm hit.There is little information coming out of the central Philippines yet as cellphone towers are off-line and Internet access has been cut. The info we are getting is coming from satellite phones and military planes taking supplies down there. The number dead is projected to be more than 10,000 with thousands more injured and displaced. The video footage is horrific. So much suffering!Please pray with me. 

First Love has numerous missionaries working down in areas that were greatly affected by the storm.  First Love has already raised $12,000 that has been sent to our missionaries down there, but we are quickly realizing that this isn't nearly enough.  Our president, Tom Clinton, has sent out a new challenge of $25,000 to be raised in order to better help the people of the Philippines.  

This is where the money donated will go to...

We are going to focus most of our relief efforts with the needs of our missionaries,Dan & Tori Beaver, and their work with the poor on Boracay and Panay Islands.  Their pre-school for the Ati Tribe children on Panay was destroyed and their housing apartments for teachers was also severely damaged.  100's of poor residents of Boracay are currently staying in their 3 story ministry center and are in need of food, water, dry clothing, and a bed.  We will also try to help as many as possible with repairs to their homes.  We will also wire funds to our missionary teachers,Mary Olson and Lindsay Pund, who are teaching at Bethel Christian School in Tacloban so that they can assist those in need who they personally know.  I would also like to help Cleo Undheim's brother and his family who lost everything they own during the earthquake last month in Bohol and now they are even more distressed as this Typhoon has hit them.  Obviously, the more money we can raise the more people we can help.  I would like to "go deep" with our help of people, so that it is not just a one time gift of a small amount of food, but 3 months of a deeper commitment to assist as many as possible to get back on their feet over the long haul. 

After seeing so many typhoons in the Philippines already, I know how resilient these people are, and they will not let this beat them. It was always amazing to me to see a family, after losing everything in a storm, get up the next morning and start sweeping the dirt floor and cleaning the mess the storm had left.  Help us out by praying for these people, for the government and give to relief efforts.

Here is how you can give…. You may make out your check to First Love International Ministries and mail it to: PO Box 15836, Loves Park, IL 61132 and write: "Typhoon Relief" on the memo-line of your check or you can make a credit card donation if you wish by logging onto our website at:  www.firstloveinternational.com and clicking on the donate button. 100% of your gift will go directly to relief efforts.  Thank you!

Thanks much for your willingness to help our First Love missionaries in this time of great need! May God bless your efforts richly! 

The Devastation is much worse than we imagined!!!

Receiving TOMS :)

Back during my first year in college I remember sitting next to one of my good friends and thinking he had these bizarre burlap looking shoes.  They were undoubtedly cool, as my friend was probably one of the first hipsters trending at Moody Bible Institute, but they had a cool story to them.  He told me they were called Toms and for every pair of shoes that was bought the company donated a pair to someone else in the world.

Of course with every "charity driven" brand there comes its critics, some saying its all a scam, some saying we get the nice shoes while the street kids get cheap flip flops, and others well...just refuse to believe anything good about the world.

Well right before I arrived in Kenya in September, they received a huge shipment of over 500 pairs of Toms for the kids and our national staff.  They are great shoes and very practical for Kenyan life style.  I have just loved seeing the little Toms running around and thought I would share some pics of the receiving end of your Toms shoes!

Africa is a continent, Kenya is the country.

There is a common misconception that Africa is a seen as a country and not the second largest continent, I am guilty of this as well. I never even thought about this misconception until I had a friend who was from South Africa and anytime people would ask her where she's from they're surprised to find that she's African...I thought they were black?! Africa is a continent and a huge one at that.  There are about 55 countries on the continent of Africa, many of them being drastically different.  Even in the two countries that I've been able to visit you couldn't even compare the two...one was more modern city, beautiful mountains with two different oceans meeting at one point, the other was more developing and had the beautiful brown grasslands stretching across its middle, filled with wild animals Disney likes to cast as their protagonist.
I am guilty if this as well, grouping all of Africa into one big group.  So I'm taking this opportunity to tell you a little bit about what I have learned from my fellow Kenyan friends about the country of Kenya...and what makes it unique in this big contininent.

Kenya is in east Africa touching the Indian Ocean, and is a young country, gaining its independence on  December 12, 1963 from Britain.  It is only (roughly) the 30th country to gains it's independence in Africa. Before that, it was a British colony in the 1920s.

The official language of Kenya is Swahili, which is a mixture of the Bantu tribe language and Arabic.  When the arabs came for trading they communicated using this new trading language which later became known as Swahili.

However there are 42 tribes living in Kenya, and each with its own language and then multiple dialects of their native languages.  But because of their British colonization, English is a major language and all schooling is in English as well.

Unlike some of their neighbors, Kenya has been blessed with much peace.  For example, on just the other side of Lake Victoria, the country of Rwanda has only two tribes, the Tutsis and the Hutus, who have been fighting for years and years.  Kenya has 42 tribes who has been able to live in peace with one another for many years.  The biggest tribe being called the Kikuyu and the smallest being the El Molo who is now facing extinction.

Kenya is home to one of the world’s harshest HIV and AIDS epidemics. An estimated 1.6 million people are living with HIV, around 1.1 million children have been orphaned by AIDS and in 2011 nearly 62,000 people died from AIDS-related illnesses.
Kenya’s HIV prevalence peaked during the late 1990s but has dramatically reduced to around 6 percent. This decline is thought to be partially due to an increase in education and awareness, but also from high death rates

Kenya has also claimed itself being a Christian nation, with 83% of the population claiming Christianity and 11% being next largest religion being Islam.  Some prayer requests the Kenya needs is:
Political issues increasingly impact the churches.  Christianity is increasingly politicized as many churches seek to transform Kenyan politics with new parties and fresh vision. Pray that all Christians might unite in opposing wrong and in upholding policies that honour God. Pray for gifted, holy and accountable believers to be appointed to positions of influence in the nation.

Although Kenya is a "christian nation" there is definitely a need for some quality men of God to lead this nation and their churches.  There have been numerous instances where I have been met with legalism that has saturated the way they worship God.  I would love to post more about this later!  So keep an eye out!

I keep on catching myself saying pray for Africa...be specific, pray for Kenya! Pray for Christian Leaders to lead their nation in a godly matter.  Pray that people would protect themselves and their families from illnesses like HIV.  Pray for the people of Kenya that they would seek Christ!

Things to remind me I'm in Africa.

As I was walking home today from school I starting laughing to myself and thinking of all the things that remind me that I'm in Africa and not in the US.  Here are a few, I hope you find a little pleasure in my growing list.

-Red clay dust

-walking through a heard of cattle on my way home from school

-school running an hour late (and teachers are ok with it)

-seeing monkeys on the side of the road on my walk home

-eating termites with dinner last night

-60 kids in my classroom

-kids touching my hair when I'm not looking

-kids rubbing my arms against their skin

-driving on the other side of the road

-eating more corn than I have in my entire life

-hang drying my clothes (I'm from washington, we don't hang dry)

-multiple marriages proposals (no ring is on the finger yet)

-mopping my floor with a towel

-and trying to coordinate skype times with friends is really confusing

It's a short list that seems to grow any time I take a second to reflect on my time here :) 

Classroom Mania!

One of my respoinsibilties here in Nairobi is furthering a relationship with the public school down the street that First Love sends most of our primary kids to.  This school has been very supportive of our ministry by welcoming 60 of our kids! Even though it's a public school, that doesn't mean they are given all the finances and supplies that are needed from the government.  In fact in this k-8 school there are more than 1,300 students and only 30 teaching staff!! Can you believe it!  That means class sizes are packed and are short in space, money, supplies, staff, and time.

When you first walk in a Kenyan school the first thing that hits you is the vast amount of kids.  Desks are nearly piled on top of each other, and in the baby classes (3-4 year olds) they literally have two kids sitting in each chair.

There is also a shortage of money.  These teachers are overworked, having to not only teach all of these   students but they must mark all of their papers, tests, and homework... it's exhausting.  They are also not given any money to supply their classroom with updated textbooks or basic supplies for their classroom.  In result of this, many teachers are found to be charging their students unfair fees that are pocketed or never reported.  Trying to get a receipt for our payments is like pulling teeth!

Because of the sheer number of kids in classrooms there is no way they are able to have a student based learning approach, therefore everything is lecture.  But primary kids can only listen to lecture for so long, so they teach each subject in 30 minutes increments and then teach subjects multiple times throughout the day, with a 10 minute break between every two lessons.  It sounds crazy, but I can now see that at this point it's the only way they can get through all the curriculum they are given.  But with all these lectures and breaks it makes for a very long day.  The kids leave for school at 6 30 and don't arrive home until 5pm!

Being a teacher myself it breaks my heart to see an educational system in such a place.  This is a developing country still and I pray that they are able to make necessary changes.  But it has truly been a wake up call to this little private school teacher!

One amazing thing that I love about the Kenyan school is that prayer is not absent.  Students are often seen praying for meals, for their beloved country, teachers, and families.  It's really amazing to see a public school able to pray to our Lord and Savior!

The other day I was in my 4th grade english class and I wanted to be able to show you how crammed these kids are!

King Stoba and the Queen

What do you do when you have a few free hours on a Saturday afternoon and kids coming out your of ears?  Make a home movie!

Oh man, the First Love kids had so much fun making this little diddy, they're already planning their next project.

King Stoba and the Queen from Meg Cosper on Vimeo.

Kenya dig it!

It's been three days since I arrived in Nairobi and its as beautiful as ever.  The kids are great, the compound is blooming, and the staff are so friendly!

However being one of the only "muzungus"(white person) on campus has already been a humbling experience.  On numerous occasions I find myself in the middle of Swahili conversations and feeling rather dumb, not able to drive since they drive on the other side of the road (hopefully I'll eventually conquer it), being fed completely foreign food, and again just joining a new staff in general can be difficult in finding where you belong and what your responsibilities are.

None of these things are bad or wrong at all, and they also didn't come unexpectedly... I knew it would be tough.  But it does force me to be a little more flexible and thankful for others patience with me as I adjust to this African culture.

It has been wonderful to see friends that I met in June, so many were surprised to see me again and so soon.  I hope to be an encouragement to the faithful servants serving here in Kenya.

Just as a little peak into what my diet consists of nowadays...

Ugali and kale. (Ugali is cornmeal and water, boiled to the consistency of dough)

Githeri is maize and beans

Maize is the staple food to most of east Africa...so it looks like I'll be eating a lot of it in the next few months! We also only eat meat twice a week, needless to say in my own apartment I am eating plenty of eggs and peanut butter :)
 

Summer thus far.

It's been an absolutely beautiful summer this year in the Northwest, and I have loved being able to spend so much time outdoors with people I love.  I had friends from near and far come and visit and it was so fun to reconnect. It never feels like a complete summer though without at least one visit to the much loved, but poor pathetic Seattle Mariners.  We took my friend who was visiting from England to her first ever American baseball game, and you would have thought we walked into a Canadian territory.  The Mariners were playing the Toronto Blue Jays and there were by far more Blue Jay fans.  It all made for an exciting evening.

not related at all...

two friends, America's past time, and a whole stadium full of Canadians makes for a fun night. 

Alki Beach in west Seattle.

These kids are amazing....

These last couple weeks I have really been forced to think about the life of an orphan.  Being surrounded by over 60 kids who 85% of them are total orphans and the others having a parent who is too poor or unstable to raise them themselves.  

These kids were sent away to live virtually on their own, but First Love has taken them in and wrapped them in arms of Love.  The most important love being Christ's love of course.

The kids are responsible for waking up early in the morning, bathe, eat breakfast then walk to school.

When they're in school their classes can be up to 60 kids with one teacher!  Most kids who I have known who have lost both their parents or lived through tragedy have some kind of learning disability...imagine trying to get one on one time with your teacher in a class full of 60 kids! Impossible.

When the kids get home they are responsible for polishing their school shoes, showering (again), washing their own clothes (with a bucket and bar of soap), hanging them to dry, then they all go to devotions where they sing at the top of their lungs with big bright smiles.  After devotions kids eat dinner then study and finish any homework.  

Weekends are their time to relax and watch movies!  They love weekends because they have freedom!

But regardless of all the tough things that these kiddos have had to go through and all the hardships they've encountered they still have an amazing joy.  I know that God has a special place in heaven for these little children.  Loving these kids and praying about what my part is in God's work here.

Here's a special treat from some cute ladies. 

A quick update on Africa

Never thought I would be able to travel to Africa... Honestly I love Southeast Asia so much that I was totally content in staying there.  But God is doing some amazing work here in Africa as well.  I was blessed to be able to go and visit my good friend Wendy for a couple weeks and see the beautiful town of Cape Town.  It was seriously nothing that I had expected Africa to look like. 

Here we are at Noordhoek Beach, just down the street from Wendy's parent home.

On top of Table Mountain.  Beautiful scenery!

 South Africa was fabulous but the point of this whole trip was my mission trip to Nairobi, Kenya.  I am staying and working with my mission agency First Love.  They have an amazing growing ministry in Kenya.  We have been working most of the time in Kibera a local slum. It has been named at one time the largest slum in the world with more that 1.7 million people living in a town covered in red clay and filled with depravity and hopelessness.  When we first came into the slum area it was crawling with people everywhere.  Shops on every corner and people busy going along with their normal day.  It actually reminded me a lot of the Philippines but with a red dust covering every inch.
As we were walking through the slum I kept on thinking about the need that is evident and how it must feel so hopeless.  Kids running around without any supervision, people laying around, and heaps of garbage covering the streets.
In the middle of Kibera there is a set of railroad tracks that run through to Uganda and Tanzania.  Everyday three times a day a train comes barreling through and people have to quickly get out of the way.  One of the our leaders told us that every year tons of people get run over by the tracks (mostly the drunkards).  It seems crazy to me to see people building their homes right off the edge of a train track.  Just down the path is a small creek, they told us that often times when its rainy season the bodies of those who have died are washed down.

In the middle of this sinful, sad town is a beacon of hope.  First Love had started a school back in 2004 and now it has 1000 students from Baby class (pre-school) to Form 4 (12 Grade).  Most of our time is spent at the school where we are leading a VBS program for 6th and 7th graders.  They love taking pictures... here are a few while I currently have internet and can post.  Enjoy :)

They love taking pictures so much it sometimes gets out of hand... not sure what face I'm making

This little cutie is from Baby class, in line for her morning porridge.

These are the cooks of the school.  They have worked for First Love since the beginning, we figured out that they have cooked and served more than 4 million meals!  They have hearts of gold!  Tabitha, Dorcus and Agnete.  

Crushin'

How can one student be so forgetful?! It's a problem I have been dealing with one of my students.  I mean this kiddo is so forgetful that he comes into my classroom almost everyday with his fly down and belt undone...when I ask him why he hasn't zipped up he gives me his little "sorry Miss Cosper, I forgot" grin.

At the end of each day the students are supposed to write down all the things they learned that day and then any homework that they need to work on in their daily assignment planner, which he forgets nearly everyday!  I've tried consequences, I've tried bribes, I've tried talking to his mom....nothing seems to work.  So I finally decided that every time he forgets his assignment planner he must give a 10 second back massage to each student in the class.  The kids love this, they squirm in their chair and get all excited about their approaching massage counting extra slow trying to stretch their 10 seconds as long as they can.

So today, again my little guy forgot his agenda, (surprise surprise) and not having a lot of time left in the day I said, today I will show you grace...

"I don't have to give any one a massage?"
"Nope, not today"
"But Miss Cosper I really want to give them today!"
"Why?"
"Well... I want to give one to someone special..."

Oh dear.  I think I have to come up with a new plan.

A few funny moments

Reading Buddies
Every week we get together with our first grade buddies and my fourth graders read a story to them and help them with their reading comprehension.  It's a different experience with every class, but this year seems to be a lot more teaching what it means to be a role model and how to act around little ones.

One day I noticed this one little first grader squirming around a little extra and when I walked over to investigate I noticed my fourth grader enjoying his book...but silently.  I told him, "Bud, when your reading to your first grade buddy you have to make sure your reading out loud so he can hear you....can you do that for me?"...he nods his head in agreement.  Silly kids

Not a couple weeks later the same fourth grader came up to me and and said, "Miss C my buddy is acting kind of wild and can't sit still..." "ok, well are you reading out loud, are you asking him questions to make sure he's engaged with the story?"...."yea....and he also keeps kissing my arm."....yikes, never had that problem.

Birthday Surprises
A month ago I celebrated my 25th birthday, not a huge deal, but to a fourth grader turning a whole year older is like winning the Lotto!  Everyone wants to be your friend, people are ecstatic for you, everyone in the class has a huge grin on their faces, and there are always a few who are looking to benefit off of my gain. But to top all of this excitement off I'm the teacher....this is just all too exciting, and some kids don't know how to deal with it.

So I'm sitting there soaking in the magic of turning a whole year older, having a whole year more of wisdom, another opportunity of a year of adventure when one of my little guys comes up to me grabs my face between his dirty jelly stained hands and puckers up....WOAH! STOP!....I throw my hand up just before he tries to lay it on me when I say, "woah buddy, we don't kiss in fourth grade!"...

I quickly looked around to see if anyone else had just seen what had happened...there was only one other fourth grade boy who had his mouth hanging open in disbelief. I swiftly shrug the whole situation off like it wasn't a big deal at all.

Hot n' Cold
In an elementary student's eyes the nurse's office is like an "oasis".  A place where they can escape the pressures of their peers, grades, dragon teachers, and the exhausting amount of work expected in 4th grade.  So I have quite a few students who literally try hurting themselves just so they can go get an ice pack from their "oasis".

So one day I get back from lunch and one of my kiddos is extra fidgety (I mean he normally isn't a "still" child, but today was extra bad) and his pants were completely wet.  By fourth grade "wet pants" aren't a normal problem...so I asked him, "what's going on bud?"
"I pulled a muscle and the nurse gave me some gel and now it's burning"
thinking to myself..gel?....burning?....oh gosh, poor kid
"Where is your pulled muscle?"
pointing in the general vicinity that I'm so not trained to deal with...
"Why are your pants all wet?" I asked
"well, it's burning and so I tried to cool it off by splashing water on it..." this is getting worse by the second.
"Ok well go to Tagalog class and we'll see if it gets better."

Not long after that I am in the office when I hear the pitter patter of dancing feet and when I look out I see little buddy...can't stand still, pain on his face, and trying to explain to our secretary what's wrong.  Apparently it was too distracting and started shouting in class that it was burning him!  The teacher, not knowing what to do, sent him to the office.

What are you supposed to do in fourth grade when your in utter pain and have no idea what to do?...escape to your oasis, the keeper of the oasis will know what to do.

The next day I asked him if he learned a lesson from the previous days experience...."yea.. I'm never using that gel again."  I also reminded him that sometimes a little bit of discomfort is not worth a trip to the nurse's office.

...P.S he hasn't been back to the nurse's office since.

A bunch of crazies...

Big News!

It seems that recently I've been hearing lots of announcements of new relationships, new pregnancies, and births well in light of the mood of sharing big news I'd like to announce....

I'm going to Africa....ok, it hardly compares to an engagement or a new life, but it's an amazing opportunity.

Let's just say that I have been beyond blessed by some amazing supporters who have loved me and supported me all the way through my time in the Philippines, and because of them I am honored to travel to Nairobi, Kenya to help out First Love's orphanage where I will be helping out with over 60 Kenyan orphans in whatever way I can.  It's amazing to see the opportunities that God puts in our laps, I just keep asking myself why?  Why are you sending me to Africa?  I have such a heart for Southeast Asia, what else can I do?

I would love for you to join me in praying for my summer!  I'll be traveling to Kenya this June on my way home to Seattle, and I'm sure the transition will be a battle.

I am also in the process of looking for a job, so if there is anyone who knows of anything please email me;)  I would love to make another "big announcement" in the near future.

More gifts from my little friends :)

He told me it's a man with a bow and arrow....you tell me if you can see it. 

A very crinkled crane... love the effort

Changing Faces...

I love when my old students come back and have lunch with me! It was such a treat to spend the afternoon with these girlies...For fun we decided to take some pictures.  I told them to make four different faces...isn't it obvious...?