*side note, I thought I would have way more time to blog about the happenings of living in a children's home but alone time comes very infrequently and I'd like to apologize.
The last few days I started to feel a little sorry for myself...which is pathetic. This time last year I was eating street food Pad Thai in Thailand and looking forward to finally spending thanksgiving with my family the following year. However through a turn of events and God leading me this way and that way here I am in Kenya and I am the ONLY American in sight.
I started feeling sorry for myself that I wouldn't be eating anything special, in fact I'd be eating the same Kenyan food I've been eating every day for three months, and that the last time I was with my family on this holiday, was when I was 17 years old! It's easy to get down on yourself but then God has an amazing way of reminding us of Truth.
This morning I woke and took a little extra time in getting ready, making myself look extra nice for a day that was simply another thursday in Kenya. But after I spent the morning reading with several children and then wrapping all of their christmas gifts, I was alarmed to hear wailing coming from outside the home. I rushed outside to see what the trouble was but ran into our director and 4 new little kids (for their sake I'm keeping their names private). They had just arrived at the home and were getting out of the car when this little girl (about 4 years old) came rushing out and began running to the gate and screaming at the top of her lungs. I immediately went to go and investigate.
There were two young boys who were obviously quite traumatized by the screaming and wailing. One little boy was quite good at english and was able to communicate with me. He was so sweet and introduced himself to me, and told me the names of the other kids. I told him I was so glad he joined us and excited for him to meet all the other little boys.
The other little boy was virtually silent and did not understand any english or swahili, making it nearly impossible for us to communicate with him without using some kind of charades.
The two little girls were sisters and while one was already at the gate screaming and wailing the other stood back and was fighting back the tears. I walked to her and rubbed her back and gave her a big smile telling her I was so happy to meet her. I told her my name and asked some questions about her, but again it was obvious that she did not understand english or swahili. These two little girls were only about 4 and 5 years old but going through one the hardest challenges no child should ever have to go through.
After taking the kids to be introduced to the other children, our director later told us that the oldest boy (who spoke english) was the product of a rape. His mother was raped at a young age and was so poor that she wasn't able to take care of him any longer. Seeing such a confident happy boy coming from such a violent act is amazing and unimaginable in my mind. But then again, God is bigger than sin.
The younger boy comes from an extremely poor family, the reason why he only knows his mother tongue and not Swahili or english. He came to us because his aunt could no longer take care of him. His father a few years ago murdered his mother and then committed suicide in front of him. How can a child go on after seeing such acts of sin? How does this kid have even a chance at a normal life? But then again, God is bigger than sin.
The two little girls' mother is a teenager. Imagine a teenager having a 4 and 5 year old, not to mention we didn't even take their younger brother. The mother is an orphan herself and was living with her aunt who had 6 of her own kids. The mother and her 3 children were unfortunately a burden and they could not support all the kids. So the mother decided to send her first two away so she could focus on finishing high school. Can you imagine? When I asked our director what was her reaction when he took the screaming little girls away from their mother he said she was more relieved than anything. How can a teenager have three kids? How are these little girls supposed to go on after being abandoned by their beloved mother? But then again, God is bigger than sin.
My job now is to simply poor the love out on these kiddos. All that I had been worried about earlier that day about spending this day with my family and eating turkey seems so pointless. God has blessed me with this opportunity to share my love and more importantly Christ's love with these kids. I am brought to tears at the thankfulness I feel today. These kids deserve so much more, but I will love them with all that Christ has given me.
I am not here in Kenya because of the money, the traveling, or even the experience. I am here because I truly believe that by loving these kids God is glorified. I told the kids that my prayer is that by God using me and the rest of our First Love staff that they would be overflowing with thanksgiving. That not only I, but they would give all the glory to God, and even in those days when I'm tired and sick, my soul would be renewed daily and God would give me the strength to carry on.
This is what I thought about today, as I had five little girls holding onto my hands arms, shirt, legs, this is the Truth that God has reminded me of today. This is the Thanksgiving I will never forget.
The last few days I started to feel a little sorry for myself...which is pathetic. This time last year I was eating street food Pad Thai in Thailand and looking forward to finally spending thanksgiving with my family the following year. However through a turn of events and God leading me this way and that way here I am in Kenya and I am the ONLY American in sight.
I started feeling sorry for myself that I wouldn't be eating anything special, in fact I'd be eating the same Kenyan food I've been eating every day for three months, and that the last time I was with my family on this holiday, was when I was 17 years old! It's easy to get down on yourself but then God has an amazing way of reminding us of Truth.
This morning I woke and took a little extra time in getting ready, making myself look extra nice for a day that was simply another thursday in Kenya. But after I spent the morning reading with several children and then wrapping all of their christmas gifts, I was alarmed to hear wailing coming from outside the home. I rushed outside to see what the trouble was but ran into our director and 4 new little kids (for their sake I'm keeping their names private). They had just arrived at the home and were getting out of the car when this little girl (about 4 years old) came rushing out and began running to the gate and screaming at the top of her lungs. I immediately went to go and investigate.
There were two young boys who were obviously quite traumatized by the screaming and wailing. One little boy was quite good at english and was able to communicate with me. He was so sweet and introduced himself to me, and told me the names of the other kids. I told him I was so glad he joined us and excited for him to meet all the other little boys.
The other little boy was virtually silent and did not understand any english or swahili, making it nearly impossible for us to communicate with him without using some kind of charades.
The two little girls were sisters and while one was already at the gate screaming and wailing the other stood back and was fighting back the tears. I walked to her and rubbed her back and gave her a big smile telling her I was so happy to meet her. I told her my name and asked some questions about her, but again it was obvious that she did not understand english or swahili. These two little girls were only about 4 and 5 years old but going through one the hardest challenges no child should ever have to go through.
After taking the kids to be introduced to the other children, our director later told us that the oldest boy (who spoke english) was the product of a rape. His mother was raped at a young age and was so poor that she wasn't able to take care of him any longer. Seeing such a confident happy boy coming from such a violent act is amazing and unimaginable in my mind. But then again, God is bigger than sin.
The younger boy comes from an extremely poor family, the reason why he only knows his mother tongue and not Swahili or english. He came to us because his aunt could no longer take care of him. His father a few years ago murdered his mother and then committed suicide in front of him. How can a child go on after seeing such acts of sin? How does this kid have even a chance at a normal life? But then again, God is bigger than sin.
The two little girls' mother is a teenager. Imagine a teenager having a 4 and 5 year old, not to mention we didn't even take their younger brother. The mother is an orphan herself and was living with her aunt who had 6 of her own kids. The mother and her 3 children were unfortunately a burden and they could not support all the kids. So the mother decided to send her first two away so she could focus on finishing high school. Can you imagine? When I asked our director what was her reaction when he took the screaming little girls away from their mother he said she was more relieved than anything. How can a teenager have three kids? How are these little girls supposed to go on after being abandoned by their beloved mother? But then again, God is bigger than sin.
My job now is to simply poor the love out on these kiddos. All that I had been worried about earlier that day about spending this day with my family and eating turkey seems so pointless. God has blessed me with this opportunity to share my love and more importantly Christ's love with these kids. I am brought to tears at the thankfulness I feel today. These kids deserve so much more, but I will love them with all that Christ has given me.
At our evening devotion tonight I shared 2 Corinthians 4:15-16 which says:
"All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day."
This is what I thought about today, as I had five little girls holding onto my hands arms, shirt, legs, this is the Truth that God has reminded me of today. This is the Thanksgiving I will never forget.
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